Only Me
by TheSakuraBreeze
Summary: A desperation to get another's attention. A sudden twist of events. A sacrifice. A revelation of one's own feelings. Things can change very, very quickly. Misaki, please, only look at me. Rated M for later chapters. SaruMi Yaoi.
1. Look at me

Another Christmas present! Some SaruMi! Enjoy!

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"Get away from me, you traitor!" Misaki Yata's voice echoed through the alleyway. Fushimi had only gone there to speak with Misaki. Somehow things would always turn sour when he did. They would always end up fighting. Perhaps it was because Misaki hated him. Perhaps it was because Fushimi was too much of an idiot to figure out how to get Misaki's attention without provoking him. Fushimi pointed his sword at him, a wicked grin spread across his face.  
"Why should I, Mi-Sa-ki-?" The tall, lean man said in his usual mocking tone. He had managed to back the redhead into a corner, defenseless. This sort of situation was always his aim when they fought, because that's what you're supposed to do in a fight. But what was he supposed to do now? Kill him? No, there was no way he could do that. Instead, he just stood there, his smile fixed and the tip of his sword pressing lightly to Misaki's throat. He then looked him up and down, taking all of him in and unintentionally sending shivers down the other's spine. Why was he looking at him like that?

"What's going on here?" A low, familiar voice came from the other end of the alley. Fushimi glanced over his shoulder to see who it was and narrowed his eyes, his mouth turning sharply downwards, at who he saw. It was Mikoto Suoh. Misaki's face brightened instantly. Fushimi's heart clenched when he saw it.  
"No…" He whispered almost inaudibly. Misaki heard his whisper, a faint curiosity bubbling up inside him about it, but instead of asking to find out, kept his gaze fixed on his king.  
"Mikoto-san!" He called out. Fushimi's heart almost stopped. Why? Why was it always like this? He lost all his strength and dropped his arm that was holding his sword up, looking down at the floor. He couldn't take it anymore. His behavior caught Misaki by surprise, but he ran over to Mikoto regardless, like a loyal puppy returning to its master. _Why did things have to be this way?_

Without another word, just a dirty look by the both of them, both Mikoto and Misaki turned and left the alleyway.  
Once they were gone, all there was left for Fushimi to do was fall to his knees. He wasn't sure how long he could keep doing this. He wasn't sure how long he could hold back. He wanted Misaki. He didn't want him to be with Mikoto. Why wouldn't he look at only him? After staying completely still for what seemed like hours, he struggled to his feet, put his sword away and then staggered out of the alleyway. What was he supposed to do? How was he supposed to get Misaki to look at him?

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Short, I know, but this is only the start. Please leave a review! ^_^


	2. War

Here you guys go, Chapter 2~! Please note that I started writing this before the anime ended, so I apologize for the inaccuracy of the story. ^_^

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Days, then weeks, then a few months passed and Fushimi and Misaki didn't come into contact with each other again. Whenever Fushimi didn't see his old friend, he was in a constant state of perpetual boredom. He was so very, very _bored_. Despite his boredom, his mind was chaotic. Thoughts of Misaki were constantly buzzing around in his head. _I want Misaki. I want to see him. I want him to see me. I want him. I want him. I want him._ He felt like he was going to go insane.

Right when he felt like he was about to reach the brink of insanity, there was war; a war between HOMRA and Scepter 4. Tensions between the two clans had been running high since their previous war that took place at the school where HOMRA had suspected the Colourless King to be. Then, in a street fight between two members of each of the clans, one of the members of the reds had been killed. This caused them to break into all-out war.

About three days into their war, a battle was fought on the bridge connecting the school to the main city. As soon as the battle began, Fushimi immediately sought out Misaki. He knew that he was there. He didn't know how, but he knew. Then, he saw him. It was Misaki. He could finally see Misaki after such a long time. But, before he could get to him, another member of HOMRA got in his way. Anger boiled up inside him. How dare this lowlife keep him from Misaki? The man that he vaguely recognized attacked him, shortly after he had stopped him, with a crowbar. With quick reflexes, Fushimi quickly drew his sword and easily stopped his attack, a dark expression set on his face.

"Get out of my way," He ordered. The other man only laughed as if that statement was the most absurd thing in the world.  
"No way! If I killed the infamous HOMRA traitor, I'd be rewarded for sure," The man stated, as if it was obvious. _Traitor._ That word stung, even when it didn't come from Misaki's mouth. It stung because he regretted it. He regretted leaving Misaki. His hand unconsciously went to his collar bone, where his tattoo used to be and where his burn mark now lay, set there forever. As much as he regretted it, he knew more than anyone that he would never be accepted back into HOMRA. Even if he did, it would do him no good. Things would go back to being exactly as they were before. He would have to sit there and watch Misaki chase after HOMRA's leader. He would have to sit there and face the fact that Misaki wouldn't look at him every single day. He had no choice but to leave.  
His grip on his sword tightened as even more anger and pain was bubbling up inside him.

"Very well," Fushimi said without a hint of emotion. He held his sword in front of him, quickly trying to compose his thoughts before uttering the words, "Fushimi, ready!" Blue flames swirled around him as he made his move to attack. He easily overpowered the HOMRA grunt. He was simply faster, stronger and had a much better instinct to kill than most others. Without even breaking a sweat, he had the other man on the ground, his sword pointing dangerously at his chest. He raised his sword up, about to bring it down and end the man's life, when he heard Misaki's voice.

"That's enough, you monkey!" The redhead's angry voice was enough to stop Fushimi in his tracks completely. He looked up to see him standing there, his baseball bat pointing at him, too close to his face for comfort. Nevertheless, a smile spread across his face. He stood up straight, taking a couple of steps back, completely forgetting his previous opponent.  
"Hello, there, Mi-Sa-Ki-," It was as if his mocking tone came on automatically.  
"I thought you said that we should settle things with each other, hm?" Misaki did his best to ignore Fushimi's mocking.  
"I came to find you so that we could do just that, but unfortunately this rat got in my way," He said in a matter-of-fact manner. "But since you went out of your way to find me, why don't we just cut to the chase?"  
"Agreed." As soon as they were finished exchanging words, they got right to fighting. As always, they were equally matched for the most part. But something was different about Fushimi this time, something that drove him to overpower his opponent. It was desire; a desire to dominate Misaki, to have him to himself. Soon, their battle was over. Fushimi had won. Misaki was on the floor, in a similar position to Fushimi's last opponent, with the other's sword pointing at his neck. But, like their last battle, Fushimi couldn't move. He froze. He couldn't back out and let Misaki go, but he couldn't kill him either.  
"If you're going to kill me, then just do it," Misaki said bitterly. What was he supposed to do now? Deciding that he couldn't kill the redhead, he sheathed his sword and began to walk away.

He noticed that as soon as he had left, another blue started attacking Misaki. But Misaki was defenseless. He had barely gotten up, when his assailant knocked him down again. Fushimi whirled around and started sprinting back to them, just as his comrade was about to deliver the final blow with his sword. No, he couldn't lose Misaki. Just in time, he managed to get between them. However, he didn't have enough time to block the man's sword. Fushimi cried out in pain as the sword went right through his side. Both of the other men were stunned at his actions. The man from Scepter 4 pulled his sword back, unsure of what to do. He took a couple of shaky steps backwards then turned and ran away. Fushimi fell to his knees, then onto his back, clutching at his wound and coughing. All Misaki could do was stare at him, then follow suit and fall to his knees as well.  
"Saru-Saruhiko… Why?" He said, dumbfounded. Fushimi smiled. Not his usual, mocking smile, but a genuinely happy one.  
"I don't want to lose you, Misaki," He said, looking up at the other, then his smile widened. "You're finally looking at me. Please, Misaki, look only at me."

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Please let me know what you think through the reviews! :D

Oh, and don't be shy to message me if you have a particular couple that you want a fic written about!


	3. Visitor

Here's the next chapter, guys! Sorry this took so much longer than usual! Enjoy!

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Fushimi opened his eyes to see the ceiling of a hospital room. After looking around, he guessed that he was in the Scepter 4 clinic. How did he get here? The last thing he remembered was Misaki's face. As he struggled to sit up, pain shot through him from his side. That's right, he had gotten stabbed. That still didn't explain how he got here. In the midst of battle, it wasn't uncommon for someone to be left to bleed to death on the ground.  
Just then, the door to his hospital room slid open, and Munakata Reisi stepped through.  
"C-Captain?" Fushimi was more than a little surprised that the man now standing in his room had come to visit him.  
"Well come back to the world of the living, Saruhiko Fushimi," The taller man gave Fushimi a small nod as he approached his bed and sat down.  
"Sir, what are you doing here?" Fushimi asked, somewhat disbelieving.  
"Can't I come visit my poor, injured subordinates?" The captain chuckled slightly, which caused the other to give him an even more incredulous look.  
"That boy saved you, you know. The one you saved. I was quite surprised when he came to me with you in his arms, begging for help. I have no idea how he even managed to carry you," Munakata uncharacteristically laughed.  
"Tell me something," He suddenly became serious. "Why did you leave HOMRA to join Scepter 4?" Fushimi was more than a little taken aback by the sudden question. He opened his mouth, then frowned and closed it again.  
"I-I don't see how that's relevant, sir," He said eventually, unable to think of anything else. Munakata smiled to himself.  
"Very well," He chuckled softly, and then stood up again before speaking again, in a more serious tone this time. "I don't know your reason for doing what you did, but I cannot tolerate your actions. If you do something like that again, I will have to punish you."  
"I'm very sorry, sir, it won't happen again," Fushimi apologized, looking down.  
"I find that hard to believe," Munakata responded, smiling somewhat bitterly. "Goodbye." He turned and walked towards the door, but just before he stepped out of the room, he looked back over his shoulder.  
"Oh, by the way, you have a visitor." Fushimi was a little surprised by his captain's words. Who would take the time to come visit him in the hospital? He wasn't exactly on good terms with anyone and he knew it. He sat in silence for a few minutes, left to his thoughts as he looked out the window to his left. He was brought back to reality when he heard the door opening and closing again. He looked in the direction of the sound, to see the last person he had expected to visit him.  
"M-Misaki? What are you doing here?" He was so taken aback that he could barely speak.  
"You damned monkey," Was all that Misaki said in a wavering voice as he moved to sit next to his former partner's hospital bed. They both sat in silence for what seemed like ages, with Fushimi staring at Misaki and Misaki staring down at the floor.  
"Mi-"  
"Why did you do that?!" Misaki Shouted all of a sudden. All Fushimi could do was blink and stare, wide-eyed, at the other boy.  
"Why would you… Put yourself in that much danger… For me?!" He demanded. "I would punch you right now if you weren't already seriously injured!"  
"You're still the same as ever, I see, Misaki," He said, looking down as he smiled to himself. "But I'm happy. You came to visit me." He looked back up at Misaki, his smile genuine rather than his normal, sadistic one.  
"You still haven't answered my question!" He pushed.  
"It's because," Fushimi inhaled deeply before he spoke again. "I don't want to lose you. All I want is for you to look at _me_." Misaki looked stunned, as if Fushimi's words had completely shattered his reality. He didn't understand this. He couldn't understand what he was saying. The man in front of him was the one who betrayed him, what the hell did he mean by _he didn't want to lose him_? The words he spoke were ones he said to him almost every time they met, but the way he said them now… No, the way Misaki was able to understand them now… Their meaning was very, _very_ different.

"Saru… What…?" Misaki could barely find any words to say. Then, Fushimi's defense mechanism went up. The one where he wore that slightly insane, mocking smile of his. The one where he said the worst things to Misaki.  
"Don't be so stupid," He said, his usual mocking tone returning. "Did you actually believe that, Misaki? You're so gullible." Why was he doing this? He didn't know. Maybe it was because he didn't want to admit his feelings, to himself or to Misaki. Maybe it was because he was scared that Misaki would hate him so much that he would stop looking at him completely.

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Hey guys, I hope that you enjoyed it! Please leave me a review!


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